Valentine's Day

Alrighty so yesterday was Valentine's Day. It was a good day...rather than totally tripping and starving myself until dinner (which is what I've done in the past)...I made a point to eat regularly all day. I also went walking again with my sister at the mall earlier in the day. So once my boyfriend got home and was getting ready I asked him where he was thinking about us going. He said Olive Garden. Yeah so umm no. My face dropped! lol Of course he then explained he thought that's where I'd like to go. (Yes, true I did want to go to Olive Garden the day I attended my first WW meeting...as my "last meal"...but umm Olive Garden isn't the most healthy place ever. The salad alone is a day's worth of points...and I get damn 48 points!) Anyway so I said how about Applebees (not so romantic...but they do have a WW menu!) or a Japanese restaurant.

We ended up going with Japanese. I ordered the chicken and shrimp. It came with salad, onion soup, (a LOT) of rice, shrimp appetizer, veggie and of course the chicken and shrimp. Okay I DID eat the salad, onion soup and shrimp appetizer (2 grilled shrimp). As far as the meal went I half of the rice which I'd say is about a cup to a cup and a half and I ate half of my shrimp and chicken/veggies. I think I did really good. I am already nervous about the meeting Sunday. I really hope I didn't screw myself. HOWEVER...I want to say that I did very good if you ask me. I could/would normally eat all of my food. I've never been one for take out boxes. I really could have easily stuffed all that food...no joke. But I didn't. So I think this is a step in the right direction. I can't avoid going out to dinner all the time...nor can I cook dinner every, single night. I like going out...I like feeling special and dressing up. I had an awesome Valentine's Day. Oh yeah and when I came home I had about 1/2 of a glass of wine. I couldn't say no..my boyfriend lit candles...and poured it and it was so sweet. I haven't been drinking much at all...and I plan on not drinking much. However it was a good night...and I'm not going to lie and say I'm not concerned about Sunday...but it will be okay.

As a side note...UGH! I went to Lane Bryant yesterday just to try on clothes....how about I'm a fucking 26. I was hoping I was a 24. I don't wear pants...I feel too fat for pants. (sounds crazy...I know...but anyway...) I haven't worn pants in about 3 or 4 years. So I tried on a pair of pants...a 24 and I couldn't even fasten them. OMG! I mean close, but no cigar. WOW. So that means I started out wearing a damn 28...I'm now a damn 26....WOW. Double wow. I'm so ashamed at myself. Wow. I'm down almost 20 pounds and I'm a size 26. Unbelievable. For some reason I just assumed I STARTED at a size 26 and was now in a 24 again. WOW. Sigh. Well it's all good (I guess)....I'm losing weight. I'm just bummed. Wow. SMH.

Weigh In #6

I just wanted to check in right quick. I had a good weigh in...I lost 2 pounds! That's a total of 19 pounds. Very excited! This previous week I walked 3 times as well as danced at night in the bathroom as I previously mentioned. I am up to 3 songs per night BTW. Well I'll be back later in the week to check in...just wanted to report my progress! Oh yeah tonight a new recipe: Oven Fried Chicken. I hope it's good!

Not Feeling Well

So majority of this week I haven't felt well. I have had stomach issues throughout the week. How? Why? I have no idea. But I have felt ultra bloated...have had increased trips to the restroom and I've been sipping pepto bismol all week. I pretty much have no hope at this point that weigh in Sunday will be good.

After work I am going for a walk with my sister at the mall again. I do need to exercise. We walked Sunday and Monday...so a third day will be awesome. I need all the help I can get as far as weight this week. My period starts next Thursday so I don't know if that has anything to do with it...I doubt it. But I do feel sorta blah. I'm typing this just to mentally prepare myself for disappointment Sunday. Well not necessarily disappointment...just not a big loss, if any at all.

I did get the chance to cook anything new this week. I've been pretty broke b/c so I couldn't purchase any cool, new ingredients. I do however plan on making oven fried chicken, chicken marasla as well as garlic shrimp this week/weekend. We'll see how it goes though.

I am so very stressed though lately. I'm dealing with some nonsense with my dad ever since my mother passed away in August. I am just stressed over the whole thing. My father moved a woman into the house in December. Yeah...exactly. My mother died in August and he moved a woman in just a few months later. How does that make any sense? I'm just too through. I'm so depressed...I cry all the time. I'm trying to get past it...but I can't take it. I feel like my life is seriously one big clusterfuck and I can't fix it. I realize I can't worry about grown people...but this whole situation turns my stomach. Just typing this makes my stomach hurts. SIGH.

I never mentioned that I gained even more weight after my mom died in August. And not only have I been mourning her...but dealing with my dad living with this woman...oh did I mention the woman was one of my mom's nurses?? Yeah...the story gets worse and worse. It's seriously so fucked I can't even think straight. I mean this dude (my dad) is on some brand new shit right here. SIGH

I am just going to try not to think about it....honestly b/c if I do I am bound to jump in the car and go to McDonald's. And yeah I know I'm emotional eater...I haven't and I don't plan on it...but yeah this sort of situation is taking a toll on me. I'm just so tired right now...so very tired. Wow, I just rambled on so much.......I am just ready for this week to be over. I'm tired of not feeling well. I'm tired of going to a shitty job at 3:30AM...I'm just tired. I need a vacation. I'm just saying...

Weight Loss Observations...

I have very few friends...literally about 4 to be exact and 2 of those are my boyfriend and sister. The other two are co-workers/friends. I felt close enough to tell them I joined WW and that I am losing weight. I have however found that they have totally ignored that fact and continue to eat junk in front of me and go on and on about how great it is....or tell me there are cookies somewhere in the office and that I should try them. One of them, who isn't overweight in my opinion said her doc said she needs to lose 30 pounds. I said well you can always join WW with me. Yeah, so how about she literally gasped and made the "stank face"...as if I had told her to jump off a bridge or something. I was like wow...I didn't realize WW was so offensive. My assumption is that I'm so fat that no one really believes me when I say I am trying to lose weight. Or should I say I AM losing weight. But that's okay, I appreciate the fact that others are doubting me...it makes me want to work harder. I will most definitely prove everyone wrong...and more importantly I WILL prove myself RIGHT!

Howdy.... Weigh In #5

Hey! So I had weigh in #5 and I am happy to say I lost 3.6 pounds for a total of 17 pounds. That also put me at my Weight Watcher 5%! Woohoo! So excited about that...I didn't think I'd make it to my 5% so quickly. YAY me! :)

This was a good week...I only walked once though. But I have been dancing at night trying to build up my stamina so I can be ready for Zumba. However I have noticed since walking/dancing my knee and ankle has been hurting. That's so damn sad. To be honest I do get over weight people random pains such as when I wake up in the morning but I've never had knee pain. I think it's a good thing b/c I am moving more. And honestly I've never exercised that much at this size even when previously doing WW 2 times before. So I will take my bum knee as a sign of accomplishment. lol Sounds crazy...but it's all good.

Also I want to say that I am continuing to work hard on my portion sizes. Yesterday I went to Subway and got a footlong sub and I only ate half of it. I bought half to work today for lunch. And then for dinner I made salmon and 2 pieces are 5 points...not bad at all. I made enough so I could have 2 pieces...however I put one on my plate. And I actually only ate one. SHOCKER! I also had rice, corn and broccoli and cheese. But the point is I didn't eat the 2nd piece of salmon. Yay me! And the thing is I was full. I really am working on my mindset. I need to change it. It's odd eating less food. But If I'm full...then what's the problem, right? Yeah...this is the typical "fat girl dilemma"...so sad! But I'm handling this...I got it! Well at least one day at a time!

Checking In

I am just checking in for the week. I'm having a pretty good week. Last night I made (turkey) bacon cheeseburgers, fries and broccoli and cheese for dinner last night. It was yummy! I am trying to ensure I am eating healthy but I am also eating well. I don't want to eat salads every night. I don't want to eat the same grilled veggies every night. As I said in my last entry I am truly enjoying cooking...and I do believe my boyfriend is also. He'll ask me at 9am what we are having for dinner that night. lol It's pretty funny.

I have exercised once so far this week...also I have been dancing every night for 2 songs. I don't believe I've mentioned this before but I am very interested in joining Zumba...or should I say taking a class. However I'm afraid I won't even make it through ONE class. So each night in the bathroom right before my shower I plug my headphones in and turn on Pandora and dance for 2 songs straight. I do plan on increasing the number of songs every week or every other week...but for now 2 songs wears me out. I am definitely trying to build up my stamina.

I plan on going walking again Friday also. Also next week I plan on starting "walk away the pounds" again. I really have enjoyed that in the past and luckily it's free on my TV on the exercise on demand.

Well that about covers it. I truly hope this week I lose at least 2 pounds. Fingers crossed!

Weigh-in

Okay so I lost .8 at weigh in this past week. Totally sucks...however I figured I wasn't going to have a "good" loss this week...although honestly any loss is good. This week I walked twice and I tracked also. I did have a bit of a scratchy throat so I took some cold medicine....the next day I gained 2 pounds...WTF!! I'm not sure what's wrong with the cold medicine...but trust me I haven't taken any since. My throat is back to being a bit scratchy so I'm taking some daytime meds. Hope it doesn't jack up my system again. I have also decided to start taking a multi vitamin (WW recommends this also) to perhaps help my immune system.
I recently tried some recipes on www.skinnytaste.com. Oh it's awesome! I tried the 3 Bean Turkey Chili...yummmy! Even my BF liked it. I am planning on making stuffed peppers maybe today or tomorrow. Not sure when exactly. Anyway just wanted to check in. I've lost a total of 13 pounds so far...so onward to a new month.

yay!