Back From "Vacation"

Okay so I was off from work for the past week on a "vacation". I didn't actually get to do anything which totally sucks. But on a positive note I did lose 2.8 this week. That's pretty amazing considering the fact I sat on my ass at home for a week. I walked/exercised every single day. I also completed week 2 of the Couch 25k. (I start C25k Week 3 Day 1 tomorrow...)


I'm not going to lie, I find myself becoming a bit resentful at this point. I have worked so damn hard to basically go NO where. I don't have many friends and the few I have work opposite of me so it's next to impossible to go hang out. My husband...well that's a whole "nother" story. I know it sounds crazy but this is the healthiest, best shape I have been in in at least 10 years. And I don't even ever go out the house. I never get to dress up...I never get to feel pretty...hell I barely ever get any compliments from my husband unless it's via text and he'll say "it's great you are working out. good job" or something like that. I just feel like life is just so unfair at this point. I really is...


So I guess this is just a complaining blog today. Mind you my new total is 99.4 pounds down. I'm soooo happy about that. I purchased some new clothes last week and I can now fit a size 18 pants/jeans and an XL top. That's truly amazing. I started this wearing a size 28/30. I truly am so proud of myself...and that's not something I've felt about myself in such a long time. I just wish I could feel better about myself as far as actually doing more than NOTHING all the time. I guess I could go out and do things by myself...but seriously. Do I ALWAYS have to do shit by myself???? Yeah I guess so. sigh.


Well that's my pathetic update. I'm down 2.8 (big accomplishment)...but I feel kinda like shit.


-A

Howdy!

Happy FALL!!! I can't believe today is the first day of fall!


So I haven't been here in a few weeks. Why? Because I suck! I have still been exercising and being mindful of my food but I just have been lazy about uploading a blog post. Shame on me!


This past weigh in, which was on Sept. 16th my weight was 240.8! Soo happy about that. I am almost out of the "epic" 40's as I've had them in my mind for years. I do hope tomorrow I hit the 30's. Heck I'm close to losing a total of 100 pounds! I can't even believe that.


I've been super obsessed with taking progress pictures and constantly comparing my pictures. Honestly I just don't really see any progress in the mirror but I can see it in pics. I am actually getting kind of mad at myself because I think the pictures I am taking look fake. I don't get it. I mean am I that crazy?? I just don't understand. sigh


In other news I can now wear a size 18!!!!!!!! WOOT! I truly can't believe I can wear 18's now. YAY!!! I have been a 20 for so long that it's so awesome. I still can't wear some 18's. But I can wear size 18 pants from Old Navy and XL shirts. I also purchased a pair of size 18 Gloria Vanderbilt jeans I purchased at Ross. Stoked about that! I am actually going to have a pretty snazzy fall wardrobe! For the longest time because of my size I could only wear stretched out 3x (sleeveless) sundresses from Ross and flip flops. I wore them winter, spring, summer and fall. I really couldn't fit into anything else. I was literally a size 28/30. I swear I didn't realize I was THAT big. SMH. Denial. But I promise I am NEVER going back to do that. I will never, ever, ever do that to myself again. I deserve better than that! I may never be a size ZERO...but I won't ever be a size 30 again!


Also, I've been doing C25K on my (new) treadmill. I just completed week 2 day 2 yesterday. I'll do week 2 day 3 on Monday. I'm actually not "hating" it. lol


I'll be back soon! Another weigh in tomorrow!


-A